Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize