i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
