Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
