I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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