the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
