I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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