You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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