i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
