I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
