don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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