Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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