Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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