Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Me too!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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