You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
