i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
