i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize