I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
