Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
