hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
