so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
