Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
