I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
