He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize