i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she looked like the before picture.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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