you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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