Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize