holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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