I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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