The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize