no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
