My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
