If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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