They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
