The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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