youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
