told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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