Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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