They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
