and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
