But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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