About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
