i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
