turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
