Sry I called you an 8
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
