You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
