You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
