I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
