She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
