sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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