she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
