Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You can't motorboat a personality
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
