Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
