i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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