she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you didnt know i had herpes?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
being pregnant is like rehab
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
