his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
