i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
