you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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