I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
