dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
