walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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