Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize