i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
