I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
