Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
