I hate your face
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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