things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
