That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
